Five Things NOT to Say to a Friend in Crisis

We are all human. We all make mistakes, and to varying degrees, we are self-centered. We focus on our own troubles, but sometimes when a friend comes to us for a sympathetic ear and we've reached our quota of patience with that person, we'll say anything to shut them up.

The following are some of my favorite meaningless platitudes and I'm ashamed to say I've used one or two myself in the past...

1. "A year from now you'll look back and this will be just a bad memory."
Um. No. You don't know that. They could still be going through "it" and the situation could be much worse by then.

2. "God never gives us more than we can handle."
Of course he does. He never promised he wouldn't. People lose their minds, die, etc, all the time because they've been given more trouble than they could handle.

3. "You're stronger than you know."
What does that even mean? And how do you know how strong that person is?

4. "I got through it; you can get through it."
Be careful when you say this. You're saying the other person's situation is no worse than yours was. That they had all the mitigating factors, breaks, support, etc. that you did and you are passing judgement on them. You're probably wrong in your assessment and are attempting to compare apples to oranges.

5. "The situation couldn't possibly be as bad as you make it out to be."
LOL This friend is a moron.

A Thankful Day

I’m Thankful For…I’m thankful for those who’ve lied, for now I recognize truth

I’m thankful for those who treated me with cruelty, for now I recognize kindness

I’m thankful for those who’ve judged and falsely assumed, for now I understand acceptance

I’m thankful for enemies, for now I recognize friends

I’m thankful for hardship, for now I recognize plenty

I’m thankful for those who abandoned me, for now I recognize loyalty

I’m thankful for loss, for now I recognize the gift of loved ones

I’m thankful for failure, for I know I will recognize success if it arrives

I’m thankful I’ve looked upon the face of evil, for now I may recognize goodness

I’m thankful for pain, for now I recognize comfort

I’m thankful for hatred, for now I recognize love

But most of all, I’m thankful for the miracle that saved my child. Perhaps more than one miracle in a lifetime is too much to expect. I am grateful for the blessing of that one miracle, for it makes all the rest of it worthwhile.

As we celebrate this day of thankfulness, take a moment to appreciate your blessings and spare a thought, a prayer, for those in harm’s way and for those less fortunate.

No matter how deeply we believe our suffering to be; there is always another out there whose suffering is greater. And it may not always be whom we assume it to be…

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

Antonia

Friendship

Writing is a solitary existence by necessity. We writers/editors spend hours alone in front of our computers, struggling to create. Usually at home. Were we to spend all day in front of a computer in some other venue, such as an office, we'd be congratulated. Because we do so at home, we are not considered to be "working" and are oftentimes villified for our "antisocial" lifestyle. Along the way, we depend on the support of our loved ones--should we be fortunate enough to have any--and our friends. Both "RL" or "real life," as we say, and writing friends--many of whom we know only via the internet. Some scoff at such friendships, but let me tell you the daily exchange of ideas, feelings, and experiences via email, Skype, and YIM can forge very strong bonds indeed. When I spend time with my RL friends, we watch a movie, we shop, we chat over lunch about little of any import. They often don't know, or don't care about my writing. They don't know me. Certainly not to the extent my writer friends do.

Yesterday, I had quite a scare. I feared I'd lost one of my closest writing friends. I'm still not sure all is well, but at least she's alive. Facing the hole the loss of such a friend would leave in my life, and the lives of the many who love and care about this wonderful person proved to me that perhaps such friendships are as real as any other. Sometimes moreso. Face to face RL friendships can be wonderful, but looking into another persons eyes, seeing their facial expressions, etc. does not make the relationship more "real." I can tell you from painful personal experience that those things can, and are faked for a variety of reasons.

So, go out and give virtual hugs to all your writer friends today. Give thanks for their fellowship, their support, their willingness to listen, and most of all, their understanding of this very weird goal you feel compelled to pursue.

Antonia
xoxoxo

Vote for The Topaz Embrace for Book of the Week at Long and Short Reviews!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I'm thrilled my book, The Topaz Embrace, has been nominated for Book of the Week at The Long and the Short of It Whipped Cream Reviews!

If you haven't alread voted, vote for me today--voting ends tonight. http://www.longandshortreviews.com/WC/recentrev.htm

Editing all day today, but currently working on a Contemporary Romantic Suspense, and a leopard shifter, ranch-set Romantic Suspense. Hope to get back to those tomorrow. :-)

Porn By Any Other Name... Or Where Does Your Book Fall on the Sinmeter?

Okay, this is my blog so I shall opine on the lovely judgemental people who insist any book with explicit sex is no more than "porn." This is really a way of saying what we do has no merit. It's also a bit of a personal attack on our moral character, which is funny, considering the real lives most of us lead. Hardly wild and crazy. Um, with a few noteable exceptions and yes, the rest of us are jealous, sort of, but quite content to live vicariously through you. ;-)

Now, some writers do not mind this "porn" descriptive. Some even take great pride in describing their own work as "smut," {love to you all), which is the next best thing to porn, though arguably a step down on the sinmeter. I don't like these terms because I see no reason to hand bullets to folks ready to shoot me down and it really isn't accurate.

Perhaps my location and life situation have something to do with this opinion. It's true, I do maintain a secret identity and I am aware of the need to keep this pen persona separate from my other pen personas and my real life. That's a shame, but there you go.

Just to clear up confusion and to make my case for the difference between porn and erotic romance, I've come up with some informal definitions of the various heat levels of romantic fiction. Entirely my own opinion and not representative of anyone or anything else.

Here goes:

Mainstream Romantic Fiction--This is a broad umbrella and can range from Sweet to borderline Erotic Romance. Sweet is self-explanatory. A traditional, committed romance between two main characters developing through the book's plot. No explicit love scenes, or strong language. Hot is the next step. There may be sex scenes with mild descriptors and language. The frequency and length of any love scenes will be greater, though the story will still focus on the developing love story of the two main characters in the context of the story plot. Next, Steamy. Steamy romance involves more frequent and explicit love scenes and language, though still within the context of the plot and the developing romantic relationship. Terms used will not be strictly frank, some euphemisms will be used, and the detail will not be entirely graphic.

Erotic Romance--An erotic romance will involve two or more characters in a romantic relationship with a happily ever after, or at least a happily for now. Euphemisms will be avoided and frank terms and descriptions will be employed. The number and length of sexual encounters within the context of the plot will be greater. You will note I did say "plot" and "romance." There will be a story here, whether it is simply a love story, or a love story combined with a plot involving futuristic soldiers fighting to save the world or whatever. And there must be romance. Emotions, people. Erotic romance is not about people having sex just for the sake of sex.

Erotica--Erotica is even more explicit and edgy, though the primary difference here is that the sexual encounters and the growth of the sexual relationships ARE the story. Erotica may or may not involve romance. Definitely no euphemisms here, but there will be an identifiable story arc and the characters will grow and change as a result of the developing sexual relationship.

Porn--Here we go! Porn is sex, plain and simple. There may be no story line, no arc of character development, no emotion. Just sex for the purpose of titillation.

So if we must label, let's try to get it right.

Happy Reading and Writing!

Antonia

Five Ways to Finish Writing a Book (NOT!)

Okay. When it comes procrastination, distraction, and outright writer's block--I am THE QUEEN these days! I used to be speedy, writing a chapter a day was not unusual. So, what happened?

I decided to do what I do best: analyze the situation. First, I will state that I plan to leave real life or RL as writers like to call it, out of the equation. RL will always be there. RL can be very bad, but of course, the absence of RL is not a good thing either. So, we'll leave that out of things.

I've come up with the top five things I find put the kybosh on the timely completion of a book.

1. Sit down every day and repeatedly rewrite the first paragraph of your story. At some point, one must at least move on to paragraph two if one is ever to complete a 400 page novel. It's tough, I know, but at some point you just have to move on with the story even if it isn't perfect.

2. Continually change major plot points in the book. (This is after one has managed to move beyond paragraph one, natch). If you change a major plot point in a book, this has a domino effect, and you will condemn yourself to rewrites throughout the book to insure continuity of plot. I'm not saying not to make a change if necessary. But changing things 14 times will definitely slow your progress and is probably more indicative of a writer's fear of finishing a book, and their basic insecurity, than any real failing in said poor blameless plot point.

3. Fear finishing your book because, what if you finally finish it and it totally sucks? This is an easy one. Maybe your book will suck. Maybe it won't. But it won't matter either way if you never finish the darned thing.

4. Write 30 stories and get about 2/3 of the way through each and "get stuck." This is bad. You now have valuable inventory stuck on your hard drive that you cannot market because it is not complete. This is a business. We are in sales and we must MOVE THE FREIGHT or we will not make any money. Why does this happen? It can happen for any number of reasons. It could be flaws within the story, but if you've got 30 of them, it's probably an author issue. Shiny object syndrome is one aspect. "Oh, look! A new story idea!" We must finish what we start. By all means, make notes on new ideas, but don't dive in and immerse yourself in new characters and new worlds before finishing the old stories. I can tell you the result of this is that an author wastes valuable time each day trying to decide which story to work on and trying to remember what the characters, world, and story line are. Not the most efficient way to do business.

5. Manage writing time poorly. We all must spend some time promoting, networking, researching for stories, researching the market, publishers, agents, searching for reviews, etc. DO NOT let this suck up all your writing time. We must do these things. We like to do these things, but write FIRST.

So, get out there and finish the blasted book! ;-) *I am looking in the mirror as I say this, of course.*

What factors keep you from completing a book? If you never have difficulty with this, please share your secret! LOL

Happy Writing!

Antonia

First Review for THE TOPAZ EMBRACE!

I'm thrilled to receive my first review for The Topaz Embrace, my futuristic fantasy menage, and the first in The Oracle Standard series, from Katie Seely of ParaNormalRomance dot Org. Thank you for the kind words, Katie. :-)

She said in part, "Scorching hot! A must read for any paranormal romance lover." and "What a fantastic story! The story was well written and the plot moved well, keeping my interest as there was not one slow part. The love scenes were scorching hot and sweet. The political intrigue and romance were balanced and fit together perfectly at the end in this well planned and executed story. At the end, I exhaled a happy sigh."

Click here to read the full review by Katie Seely of ParaNormalRomance.org!

THE TOPAZ EMBRACE Out Today!

My Bronze Age Futuristic Menage, THE TOPAZ EMBRACE, is out today at Siren Publishing!

Here's a blurb:

In 3050, a global network of hereditary, gem-based Oracles—The Oracle Standard—rules a technology bereft Earth. The greedy Intercontinental Federation seeks to wrest power and wealth from the Oracles. Ankhet, Topaz Oracle, near the end of her reproductive years, must produce legitimate issue or the Topaz Oracle Office will fall, and the The Oracle Standard’s power will revert to the Federation. By law, she must allow all sincere Consort Candidates to attempt the test of worthiness. Only a Worthy Consort can bring an Oracle to her sexual peak and serve as a life-mate. After years of failure, Ankhet discovers not one, but two Worthy Consorts, Tallon Sinclair—a bitter stranger shipwrecked on her island, and Danar D’Aubois, her trusted Personal Guard. As she struggles to save the Standard, Ankhet discovers, despite the exquisite pleasure the two bring, both have secrets, and the Federation may not be the only threat...

Have a great Wednesday!

Antonia
xooxxo

THE TOPAZ EMBRACE Coming Soon!

Thank you to all my readers for supporting my bestselling debut menage at Siren Publishing, TROPIC OF DESIRE! I hope you all enjoyed it.

THE TOPAZ EMBRACE will be my first follow-up to TROPIC OF DESIRE:



My new futuristic, bronze-age fantasy M/F/M menage, THE TOPAZ EMBRACE, the first in The Oracle Standard series, is set to release at Siren Publishing for their Menage Amour line on Wednesday, June 17th! THE TOPAZ EMBRACE, set on an exotic tropical island, while futuristic, has the allure of an ancient historical with paranormal elements. Preview THE TOPAZ EMBRACE here.

TROPIC OF DESIRE Gets 5 Blue Ribbons from Romance Junkies!

I'm so thrilled! My paranormal menage, set on the beautiful island of St. Lucia, TROPIC OF DESIRE, for Siren-Bookstrand Publishing's Menage Amour line, just received a 5 Blue Ribbon review from Noelle of Romance Junkies! Thank you so much, Noelle and Romance Junkies!

xxooxo

Antonia

TROPIC OF DESIRE NOW #10 at Siren-Bookstrand!

My first book with Siren, TROPIC OF DESIRE, a paranormal/shifter menage for their Menage Amour line is now at #10!

In other exciting news, I received my cover for my next Siren release, THE TOPAZ EMBRACE, and it's smokin'! Thanks to Jinger Heaston! THE TOPAZ EMBRACE, a futuristic menage and the first in a series called The Oracle Standard, is available for pre-order and will be released some time in mid-2009.




BLURB:
In 3050, a global network of hereditary, gem-based Oracles—The Oracle Standard—rules a technology bereft Earth. The greedy Intercontinental Federation seeks to wrest power and wealth from the Oracles. Ankhet, Topaz Oracle, near the end of her reproductive years, must produce legitimate issue or the Topaz Oracle Office will fall, and the The Oracle Standard’s power will revert to the Federation. By law, she must allow all sincere Consort Candidates to attempt the test of worthiness. Only a Worthy Consort can bring an Oracle to her sexual peak and serve as a life-mate. After years of failure, Ankhet discovers not one, but two Worthy Consorts, Tallon Sinclair—a bitter stranger shipwrecked on her island, and Danar D’Aubois, her trusted Personal Guard. As she struggles to save the Standard, Ankhet discovers, despite the exquisite pleasure the two bring, both have secrets, and the Federation may not be the only threat.

Have a wonderful holiday weekend and Happy Reading!

Antonia
xxoooxo

TROPIC OF DESIRE #13 on Siren's Bestsellers for Past 14 Days List!

Yay! I'm so excited TROPIC OF DESIRE is doing well. I really enjoyed writing this book. St. Lucia is one of my favorite places in the world and I really enjoyed watching the love story of Sheridan, Marc, and Simon play out against such a beautiful, mysterious backdrop. If you haven't had the chance yet, go check it out at Siren!

Happy Reading!

Antonia xoxxxo

TROPIC OF DESIRE Release Day!

My first book with Siren Publishing, TROPIC OF DESIRE, a paranormal/shifter/menage for their Menage Amour line, is out today!

Blurb:

Celebrated photographer, Sheridan West arrives on the island of St. Lucia to shoot the wedding of billionaire tycoon, Simon Des Marets to stunning socialite, CecilyTowne. Weddings aren’t usually her thing, especially celebrity weddings, but a disturbing series of mountain lion attacks in the hills near her LA home, a secret fear she may be involved, and the persuasion of the groom’s charming brother, Marc, make a trip to the island of her dreams more than she can pass up.
In the days leading up to the big event, Sheridan succumbs to the charms of the oh-so-sexy Marc, her desperate worry forgotten in the isolated paradise, even as the relationship between Simon and the duplicitous Cecily unravels. Romance is in the very air of the lush surroundings and Sheridan finds herself irresistibly attracted to the brooding Simon, too. A full, tropical moon. The gentle wash of the dark, Caribbean surf. Two beautiful men—one determined to possess her completely, the other equally determined to remain aloof. The three face a common destiny predetermined by the past. That destiny’s resolution must save them all from specters of bygone era and a bloody predator tracking Sheridan.