Monday, November 30, 2009

Five Things NOT to Say to a Friend in Crisis

We are all human. We all make mistakes, and to varying degrees, we are self-centered. We focus on our own troubles, but sometimes when a friend comes to us for a sympathetic ear and we've reached our quota of patience with that person, we'll say anything to shut them up.

The following are some of my favorite meaningless platitudes and I'm ashamed to say I've used one or two myself in the past...

1. "A year from now you'll look back and this will be just a bad memory."
Um. No. You don't know that. They could still be going through "it" and the situation could be much worse by then.

2. "God never gives us more than we can handle."
Of course he does. He never promised he wouldn't. People lose their minds, die, etc, all the time because they've been given more trouble than they could handle.

3. "You're stronger than you know."
What does that even mean? And how do you know how strong that person is?

4. "I got through it; you can get through it."
Be careful when you say this. You're saying the other person's situation is no worse than yours was. That they had all the mitigating factors, breaks, support, etc. that you did and you are passing judgement on them. You're probably wrong in your assessment and are attempting to compare apples to oranges.

5. "The situation couldn't possibly be as bad as you make it out to be."
LOL This friend is a moron.

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